Feeling Guilty about God Today...My thoughts on That.

^"In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence" (Ephesians 3:12) (NIV)
 

Good Morning Oddballers,

I wanna touch on something a bit more personal for me this morning. I'm not really here to interpret Bible verses this morning but rather explain one of my major struggles as a child of God. 

Alright so many of you may or may not know that for about 3 years in high school I was angry at God for making me ugly. Sound ridiculous right??? Especially if any of you knew me!! But I was. I had a major crush on this guy freshman year and he just ripped my heart out. So I got mad at God for it. I was distant, depressed, suicidal, and I had some eating disorders (anorexia and exercise bulimia). I was a mess. Usually I put a mask up for my friends at school thinking everything was fine and "dandy". But they kind of caught on junior year when I stopped going to events with them and chose to stay home and read books instead. My friends kind of left me...I was alone most of senior year. Except for one or two close friends, and things were starting to get worse for me. Family problems, my sister Loathing me over a tough situation (which I will not explain), people hating me for telling the truth, etc.

So going on to how I know Christ now, I recommitted myself after doing my first Bible study and youth group at my church. This teen leader basically saved my life. He noticed me and invited me along with his group of friends the moment he met me..and I learned that people do care about me and know that I exist. SO I recommitted myself around June-ish.

Now, back to the whole guilt thing. The problem is, I feel terribly guilty for hating God. Like really bad. It makes me cry at chapels in my college because I love God and feel so hypocritical that I spent all this time hating him and now I like him..It's a terrible feeling.

But what I want all of you to know this morning, is that it is important to not dwell on the land of "before you knew Christ" because I"m sure everyone was messed up and sinning very badly at that time. So really, what helps me is to think to myself, "Hey, that was in the past, lets move on with your faith." My advice to those who are expiriencing spiritual guilt is to drop the past, and focus on God now, and God future. It really does help the healing process.

Just like the verse says this morning "In Him and through FAITH in Him." Have a little faith in the Savior. Seriously. Trust him, I know it's hard. Open yourself up to God, Make yourself Vulnerable. Pray your struggles to him..Forget about your past. so that we as people "will approach him with freedom and confidence." What's Better than that.

NO challenge for today, just dwell on my "rant" this morning, Feel free to comment on this post. I really want to hear what your thoughts are on Spiritual Guilt. It's a very complicated topic.

have a thought provoking day,

Oddball.