So many paths to take. The Life of a Artist that Can't Make up her mind.

Hey Oddballers,

Tonight...well anytime for you. I want to write about something that has been affecting me in many ways. I am in the point of my life where there comes a lot of choices. What to do for a living? What to pursue in life? What I want to do tomorrow? What projects I want to do? What pieces I want to finish? and What I want to write about. Life in general is full of these kinds of choices. We as people need to be prepared for moments like these where we have to sit back and think to ourselves, "What the heck to I want to do now?"
According to the minimal amount of research I conducted, I have found absolutely nothing to help anyone.

Go Figure.

I guess that is the point isn't it? We don't know what our future will be. We know what we want it to be, who we want to marry, what job we want to have, where we want to live? It is hard, decisions are hard. I understand. I feel your pain. Trust me...I ride the struggle bus everyday. Sometimes it even gets me to question my own self worth.

Nonetheless, there is a decision we can make as people, "How should I react as a person to make my life less confusing?" The more money we have, the more we have to watch it and budget. Really, it would be easy to budget ten dollars, try three million dollars?? Yep. point made. The more worries we add on to our plate, the harder it will become to satisfy those worries with a SUCCESS or a FAIL stamp because, well, there just isn't time to cover everything. You have to choose one or two things at a time. Work on it till you puke, and then you'll know.

I really hope that none of you feel this overwhelmed about your future as much as I can get sometimes. Yes, the world is a scary place sometimes. YES, ladies and gentlemen it does get a little bit lonely in "single-ville" sometimes. Yes, career decision making is difficult. Yes there are so many COOL hobbies we can have. Yes there are a million obligations you have in a day. YES there are so many words in the dictionary that you can use to write. BUT this is NOT YOUR IDENTITY or SELF WORTH.

A Woman is Shallow if she uses a man for his money. How much money you have does not make you more or less attractive. I just had to get that out there...otherwise it would be another eight paragraphs.

Yes, I can't make up my mind with what I want to do in my field. It sucks, its stressful, but I take a deep breath, and I say to myself, "you will find it in time. Just love what you do." I try people. I really try.

It doesn't help that society is all about finding a career early and getting things FAST, like getting married is the same as ordering a soft shell taco at Taco Bell. hahaha. Love takes time and nurturing. Like a baby in a way. A mother probably doesn't drop off her kid to the neighbor and says, "You take him, this is too slow for me." LOL I wish we as a society could just slow down. I notice this in myself, and I try to slap it out of me.

I DO not need to speed up my decision making processes, and don't feel like you have a deadline for your life. Yes discipline is important. I am all over discipline and a bag of chips. But it is YOU that makes choices, not Google Calender. We all are guilty of forgetting Facebook Events...I do it all the time. Obviously Facebook doesn't decide whether or not we physically attend a event. So all the skeptics out there with social networking. REST assured, they aren't forcing us to go to events. Much love though :)

Rest assured what you do with your life, it 100 percent up to you. So take your time...calm down, and do things one step at a time with assertion. :D

LOVE YOU ALL, TAKE CHARGE of your lives :D

Oddball. :)

Artists Like to Vent

Good Evening Oddballers,

Oddball is back, again, and is now going to do what most artists like to do...vent. Ha! No. Just Kidding.
I am going to talk about something similar to that though, why we like it?

What drives me to want to tell my friend how awful they are as a person? To me, this is extremely disturbing, I am driven, to personally, hurt someone's feelings for what??? What do I want out of the situation? Someone to cry? Someone to realize how totally inadequate they are?? No matter the reason, it is still wrong, but yet I catch myself doing it before it happens all the time. I just want to take that knife and just drive it in...LOL

I guess we as artists strongly dislike competition. It isn't like we realize we are doing it and do it anyway. We just don't like to have other people POTENTIALLY stand in our way. We want the whole playing field to ourselves...every stinking blade of freakin' grass. And no one else can have it. So when someone decides to create something, no matter what it is, it bothers the artist if there is a possibility that one day, they will get better.

WE NEED DO WORK on this!!!
I am not saying stop, because that would take years to train out of an artist, however, we as artists need to be consistently working at not telling people how we feel all the time. I know, people that shoot a video not following the rule of thirds and basic three point lighting structure is very, irritating, but we need to know that some people just don't know, and we need to be mindful of that.


I wish you luck on your closed tongue adventure...because it is an adventure for me.


Oddball

On Art and Design Part Four: Creativity is About Failure

Hey Oddballers,

I don't find the need to be overly obnoxious with a picture today, so I am just going to be forward with this post today.

As an artist, I find myself frustrated everyday. As I sketch storyboards, write screenplays, type a paper, draw people, and create visuals in my head as an director, I am frustrated. I am frustrated because I just can't seem to get anything right sometimes. Others will seem to view me as wonderful, talented, and creative but I find myself sitting there, thinking to myself, "What planet do you live on!?" and "How in the world would you ever think of something like that about me!!?" This is normal, if you understand anything about artistry, you will realize, that YOU are YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC. It's bound to happen, whether or not you realize it. WE are more harsh on our own work than we are on others. Unless you are pretentious or arrogant, but that is a different issue altogether.

Welcome Artists to the real world. The real world says, "SHUSH IT!!!" With capital letters just like that and they lightly backhand you on the back of the head. WE fail ourselves because we feel like we deserve it. We will never get our of amateur status and we will forever be broke and without worth. Well, if you believe that about yourself. Hit yourself with a Bible for me, because I would do that to you.

Being Creative is all about Failure. WE FAIL a lot. IF you don't realize it now you might as well be dead. I'm serious. You will never succeed unless you take your failures, shake em off, and keep going. Take it as a learning experience. Stop crying about your painting, and make another one. Stop criticizing yourself because you are not at a pro level, and start making another film. KEEP GOING!! Just do it!!! Stop wallowing in the failures of your career and just focus on being better every time. It is the only way we can grow as artists. Embrace your self expression as well as your ability to communicate ideas and go out there, and DO something with your life. YOU ARE WORTH a lot and if you think you aren't. I don't know what I am going to do with you. Yell at you??? I don't know.

We need new artists and creatives out there. I know you are out there, and I would love to see your work on display in Paris, so get at it and make it happen. Don't worry about the really arrogant guy sitting next to you in Drawing and Painting 1 or Intro to Dance, or Film Production Praxis 1. Just do your work. DO NOT worry about other's work. IF they aren't professionals, they aren't competition. :) Quote me I dare you :). I'm just a broke college Creativity and Film Production major that may or may not understand the basics of real life.

Take it or leave it, but please, leave the Failure party out the door.

You're Welcome

Oddball.

On Art and Design Part Three: You are Unique as an artist. You don't need to be as good as "What's her face"

"Some talents may be similar than others but honestly; I have not seen two completely identical fine artists. No painting is the same and neither is talent. Just because someone else can draw just as good or better does not mean that they are competition and that you will never make it in the field. That person has the capability to develop their own taste and talents that will make them stand out and be unique. God created us equally unique in his image. We need to take that idea and run with it."

- An excerpt from my assignment...again. 

Oddballers,

Another day another dollar. Right? So today we are embarking on a similar series that I have started on art and design. I guess I am using this to remind myself in the future ideas that I need to keep in mind as I grow as an artist and attempt to reach my goals. It is important to have a place where your roots are found, so you can refer to it whenever you are feeling discouraged and frustrated about something. So I guess, my friends, that this is the place where I take my roots and spew them at the internet. Sorry if you find my ideas insane, but too bad. I'm insane deal with it. It's thoughts from and Oddball not thoughts from a Sane person. :) In case you didn't know.

I have thought about a specific experience that only film students will understand-- film critique screenings. It is where a bunch of students will get together, and the professors will screen your assignments and students will share their thoughts on it. This is the absolute worst thing ever for an artist. No one wants to be criticized, and the negative results of this are very evident. What I’ve seen in those who take the criticism very personally and have it break down their self-worth and ability to achieve in their field, or, they criticize the crap out of everyone else to find fault in others to make themselves feel better. I, on the other hand, am in a predicament when this happens. I don’t do either of these things. It’s very frustrating for me because it makes me feel like an outsider but the more I think about it the more I realized that it makes me ahead of the ahead of the game. I am not trying to knock all the other buildings down. I am not lazy and not working towards building my building at all. I am building by building by listening to others, and help them build their building too. This is what it means to utilize your gifts for the benefits of others. Yes, sometimes I feel doubts because someone was extremely successful in achieving their goal in a project, but I need to not focus on others and strictly pay attention to what I need to do to get better.

WE need to do this everyday. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Being successful isn't about you, it is about the journey and your growth as an artist. Yes everyone wants to be the best, but you can be the best by building the tallest building or knocking the others down. It is your choice what you decide, but trust me, the first choice is more enjoyable and worthwhile. You don't need to be like James Cameron to be a successful filmmaker, Heck you don't need to be like anyone! Just be yourself and express yourself. Everyone is unique as an artist. Utilize that and forget about pleasing people. It is not as much about pleasing people as it is about telling an amazing story. So tell some SICK stories with your work that mean something to you and others, and stop being a little thing and focusing on how you can be like someone else, because then you will never get a job. Because "that guy" will always have the job and not you. REMEMBER THAT!!! You can be someone else, so stop trying and don't compare yourself to someone that you are not. In that case...it means everyone. STOP it!!!

Much love though, its tough love but you'll thank me later.

God Bless

Oddball

On Art and Design Part Two: Get out of High School

"For me, I used to be trapped in the lie that is high school, “your identity lies in who you surround yourself with and who accepts you.” Cliques exist not because it is a way to make friends. It is to see where your identity lies. This is complete stupidity as I contemplated the dumb decisions I made to try and fit in: not wearing the clothes I like, talking to people I don’t like, trying to enjoy things I don’t like, lying about what I do like to please others, and changing myself. I became so obsessed at one point that I developed two eating disorders at the same time just to feel pretty enough and be accepted by males but I found that I was emptier than I am now thirty pounds heavier. In counseling, I learned that our identity is found in Christ, and we don’t need acceptance of others in order to feel something. We need to find ourselves and use our true self to please God. That is the only way to feel worth." 

- excerpt of an assignment that I had to turn in

Oddballers,

I apologize for the insanely long quote, but this whole idea is mind blowing. I am taking a creativity class in college, and what I find myself learning about for my art and design field is totally relevant so hold on for some amazing blog posts coming up.

Where is your motivation coming from to find worth? This is an important question that we have to ask ourselves and we try to do art, design, or any vocation for that matter. The quote above is great example of what happens when our identity is coming from the wrong place. I use this analogy with the people I meet all the time. I either label them as "out of high school" or "not out of high school" by this simple idea; does your identity lie with others or does it lie within the way God created you to be. If you are truly yourself, people WILL notice. You illuminate. Trust me. It's the most attractive thing in the world. We must find that passion and love of ourselves in the world and we need to find it in the core purpose of our uniqueness in how God created us. We must be aware in order to find our identity. It doesn't lie in people and it never will.

Trust me, people that don't know who they are and what they want to do are frustrating people. Do what you love and don't worry about anything else. The money will come later, trust me. My stepfather would tell me when I was young, "Do what you are passionate about, and if you are passionate about it, the money will come. Don't make the money come to you, it will happen all on its own." We must trust this idea of God providing for us. Out of fear we try to give ourselves a monetary "safety space" or "do our dues" until we actually do what we want to do. Can't we just start working towards what we want to do and struggle a little bit. The struggle is what makes success worth it anyways. WE need to be doing this. We need to work towards our passions and goals. Don't settle for less than what you want.

SETTLING FOR WHAT YOU WANT = AWESOMENESS :)

So do it all ready. GET OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL and make something of yourself and don't settle for less than who you are to please God. Please, save me the frustration. :)

Have a Good one,

Oddball